I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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