Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
