yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
