Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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