You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
