i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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