So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize