Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I touched a dick in church today
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
