Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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