Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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