She said her name was "party"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think your dad took our porno
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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