ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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