i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I need moral support for this bender
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
