im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize