That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
