ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
