Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
