I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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