I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
