a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
