doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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