at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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