somebody snuck up and got me drunk
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
