she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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