just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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