the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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