Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
