Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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