Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize