Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
