dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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