Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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