Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
