chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
