her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
