that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
