dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
