I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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