The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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