If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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