I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
