Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize