I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
