Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
