Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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