Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
