The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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