Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
