I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
