officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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