we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
