Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My balls are so social today.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
