Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
