had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
