the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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