therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize