Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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