I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
