people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
