my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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