my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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