she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize